...........A Galaxian looking round for someone to bother, exploit, beat, harrass, oppress, judge etc. (some people actually prefer Survivors though its hardly a 'chips or ice-cream' decision....... To find out more aboutworlds within worlds click here

Niche: A ‘Star Frack’TM Short by John Walton MA

OPEN with a flushing toilet cubicle closed. Switch between explanatory visuals whilst probing into cubicle and then toilet bowl.

Ship’s Computer
Regarding survival. The universe isn’t composed, as some less informed commentators claim, of winners and losers.
In statistical fact, it has been demonstrated that losers don’t in fact last very long, ergo there aren’t many true losers around, and de facto, the real physical world is composed of winners, and survivors.
Furthermore, one might not consider that there’s much difference between a survivor and a winner; surely the very nature of the game states that to win is essentially to survive against nature’s odds and/or vice-versa (which in fact is an almost perfect description of a ‘Survivor’ in the real noun sense!)
However, it is this ‘real noun’ sense, which is important in the present (or rather the future) context, because there is nothing either pithy or overly technical about the distinction between a Galaxian and a Survivor:
(in the future real noun sense) -
A Galaxian, is a winner because they have won the ultimate game – they have succeeded in an exceptional way even within the context of their own species; more than having just merely survived, clung on, not expired etc; they exemplify, as salient humanity,
-or whatever advanced and sapient species they come from-
the higher standard of evolution; entitling them to the higher standard of existence
-more nice material things, better travel and career prospects, (much) longer lives and so forth and so on;
and anyone who disagrees with this, can go talk to their very expensive and some would claim overly overtly cynically facetious, lawyers…
A Survivor however doesn’t only win, it devours sentient life in order to lay its rampant eggs in the belly of its unfortunate victims.
And they also occasionally have wicked lawyers.

Again, one may argue that the distinction then must be either pithy or overly technical, and again you would be advised to talk to your own lawyers before the Galaxian ‘winners’ lawyers get involved full stop.

FADE TO:

Some kind of messy gooey occult (bloody) goo in the bowl of a ship’s toilet somewhere on board the Star Frack.
An ugly little head momentarily pops out its eyed tentacles before it darts back under water.
We pull back slowly to:
Crew Member
(horrified)
What the frack was that?

Leyton
Uh-oh; well… I do believe we got ourselves
a nasty little family of
toilet lurkers.

Crew Member
(shocked inquisitive)
Toilet lurkers? You mean something’s
actually living in there?

Leyton
Yeah well, it may not seem like a very
desirable thing to be, but for them, well,
it’s pure evolutionary genius.
As a predator they know that
every prey has to do biscuits
occasionally. I mean everything sheds now
and again don’t it?

Crew Member
Predators? You mean they hunt?

Leyton
Oh yes, indeed I do! What they is gonna do
is, they’re gonna live somewhere,
down in the toilet pipes
there; but just long enoughs so
as they gets a real good chance to
jump up, just when your bout to go, so
to speak; then they gonna just
climb up and live right deep up inside
your amy-hole.

Crew Member
(speechless extreme shocked inquisitive)

Leyton
(nodding)
Uh-hoh! Now that you do not want – you do
not want a vicious hungry evil
little creature like that anywhere near
yer amy hole, full stop.

Crew member
(Shaking head in disbelief)
No, frack, no. So how do you, get… I mean, kill them then?

Leyton
Oh, I doubt we’ll kill them. They’ve probably been going,
surviving I mean, for a long time. Longer’n you and me
maybies, best we can do in all prob-bility is scare em off and
not get them impregnated in too many of us before we
do.

Crew member
So, what happens if they do; get up there?

Leyton
Oh, it depends. If your lucky it’ll just kill you quickish but
painfully. Them’s the not so bad ones though.

Crew member
(just looks nervously and gulps)

Leyton
But the worse ones is the ones what’s latches on to your
spinal cord and stay there. See the only symptoms at first
is
a little tendency to nervousness and fear because you
kind of subconsciously know that the things gotten in there.

Crew member
(just looks nervous and scared though with inquisitive eyes)

Leyton
But see it gradually gets worse as the creature kind of, takes
possession of you, just waiting for the time to lay
its eggs and have it, and its babies, hatch out though
every opening in your body while you die in
excruciating agony. And once its in your body, (shaking his
head) there ain’t no-known cure.

The crew member is shaking in terror, as a little eye on a tentacle reaches out of his ear, looks around and then disappears before Leyton sees it.

Leyton
Now that you do not want…


THE END

Remember, Once your planet's gone ...
it's just you and them, forever...